You Can't Do That

Children are full of comedy. And apparently have a thing for worms. One child came running to me to tell me his friend tried to make him eat a worm. Here is the conversation (names changed to protect the innocent:) :

Tattler: "Zak just tried to make me eat a worm"

Me: "Zak, come here please." (Mind you, Zak is standing nearby. The moment the Tattler said he was coming to tell, Zak walked over with him to make sure he reported accurately.)

Me: "Zak, did you try to make the Tattler eat a worm?"

Zak: proudly responds, "Yes, ma'am. He lied."

Me: "He lied?"

Zak, the Avenger: "Yes, he lied and lying is wrong, so I tried to make him eat a worm."

Me (desperately scanning my brain trying to figure out what Bible verse he was taking out of context- I got nothing.): "Sweetheart, yes, lying is wrong, but you can't go around making your friends eat a worm every time they lie. Have you ever lied?

The Avenger: "Yes, ma'am."

Me: "Did you eat a worm?"

The Avenger: pausing for a long time with a look of confusion, then conviction, and with his head down replies, "No ma'am"

Me: "Then, sweetie, we can't do that to our friends, ok?"

The Avenger: "Oh. Ok" And he runs off to play.

Me: "Lord, please don't let that child eat a worm the next time he lies."

The Worm

Another school story...

One beautiful day, I was watching a group of little students who were playing in the corner of the playground. Suddenly, a group comes running towards me. By this time, I had been around children long enough to know that a group of children running in my direction is no cause for alarm (and is usually a "tattling/reporting session") if a.) no one is crying, b.) no one is screaming and c.) no one is left behind on the ground. Turns out, I was right. Tattling. And here is the conversation:

The reporters: "Mrs. Gillespie, Mrs. Gillespie, Mrs. Gillespie, So-and-so just ate a worm!!!"

Me: "A worm?"

The reporters: "Yes, a worm!"

Me: *internal sigh* "Ok. Tell him to come here."

The group of "reporters" (all 5 or 6 of them) run back to the scene of the crime to get the culprit (who, by now is sheepishly hiding behind the playground set). They return, with the "worm eater", who is guiltily holding his head down. The reporters, meanwhile, are watching the following exchange in order to ensure proper consequences are meted.

Me: "Sweetie, did you eat a worm?"

Worm Eater: "Yes ma'am."

Me: "Why?"

Worm Eater: "I wanted to see what it tasted like."

Me: "Hm. Soooo, how did it taste?"

Worm Eater: pausing... looking into the sky while pondering the question, finally replies "Sweet."

Me: "Sweet?? Hmmm. Ok. Let's not eat worms. Ok? (Mental note: tell his mom that he ate a worm!)

Worm Eater: "Ok." As he happily runs back to the play set.

Meanwhile, the "reporters" stand nearby, dejected because he didn't get in "trouble". I call them over.

Me: "So, when did you know So-and-so was going to eat a worm?"

The reporters: "When he told us."

Me: "He told you he was going to eat a worm?"

The reporters: "Yes ma'am."

Me: "Did you watch him dig for the worm?"

The reporters: (Sheepishly) "Yes ma'am...we helped him."

Me: (desperately trying not to laugh) "You helped him?

The reporters: (Sheepishly) "Yes ma'am."

Me: "Ok. Next time one of your friends tell you that he is going to eat a worm, don't help him. Tell me before he eats it. I can't... really... do... anything... afterwards. Ok?

The reporters: "Ok!" (and they happily run off to join the Worm Eater on the playground)

Meanwhile, I am left on the bench asking myself (aloud) if I really just had those conversations.

First Post - Not a Good Idea

On a field trip, we stopped for treats at a local shop. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a little boy wipe something off of the face of a friend. I thought, "How sweet, he's helping his friend." Closer examination reveals, what he wiped was actually something from his friend's nose, and before I could register what was happening, he licks it. I never thought I'd say "Sweetie, it's probably not a good idea to lick your friend's snot."

Why This Blog?

Earthquakes, tornadoes, economic turmoil, foreclosures, political controversy, wars, riots, murders, etc, etc, etc. We are inundated with troubles and turmoil. As I type, I am grateful that predicted thunderstorms (of which we have seen enough already!) have bypassed us - for the time being. The last set of storms had us on guard for tornadoes. The details of an upcoming move are swirling around in my mind. There are so many things that bombard our hearts and minds, so much that triggers anxiety and stress. We tend to forget, ignore, or, simply do not see the simple pleasures in life - the things that make us smile, chuckle. That is what this blog is about.

I got the idea years ago while teaching school, and finally created this blog this month. There would be conversations I would have, or comments I would make to my students, that, no sooner than the words found their way out of my mouth, I'd think "I never thought I'd say that." And, I'd chuckle. Well, I now have a toddler. I am learning that there are not only things I'd say, but things that I'd do and see as well. My guess is, so do you. If so, this blog is for you.

Now, this is a "family friendly" blog. So, if you like crude humor, this ain't the site for you (but I know you have plenty of other options). The idea is, I will post a thought, sight, or action that falls into the category of "Things I thought I'd never...do, say, see". You are simply encouraged to comment on or post the "little funnies" you come across throughout your day - appropriate funnies (think the "Ouch, Charlie" video, not "people of Walmart").

I just want to add a little laugh or two in a world where many people find so very little to smile about.

Blessings,

Kim